Optimal business performance demands we be honest with ourselves…and others!
I recently read an article about a recent survey that was conducted by Deluxe Corporation of small business owners, which found that more than 80% of them consider themselves more a leader than a follower, AND more than 75% identify as a doer rather than a delegator.
These numbers are so far removed from what I experience as a business coach/consultant, that they border on delusional.
This got me to thinking about the lies that we tell ourselves and others on an almost daily basis, in the course of our jobs or running a business. These lies reduce our workplace productivity, hinder our professional development, AND weaken our bonds/relationships with others by lowering the trust they have in us.
You know what I’m talking about. How often have you heard people say or said yourself:
* All our clients (vendors, partners, suppliers, EMPLOYEES) love us!
* I will start going to the gym next month.
* I’ll start eating healthier soon.
* I will definitely call you back!
* I’ll get to that tomorrow.
* I’ve done enough planning to make a Go decision on my new business?
* My relationship with my business (relationship) partner(s) is just fine.
* I can plan, launch, grow this business on my own.
* I am a GREAT boss – I’m a LEADER, not a “manager.”
Two questions that beg asking are:
1) WHY do we do this so often; and
2) How can we hold ourselves accountable to ensure we don’t do this.
I suggest we are all guilty of this because we HATE coming face to face with the hard truth that we may be deficient/lacking in some capacity. Why do we have distorted views of our own reality? Why do we put off the uncomfortable tasks, encounters, meetings, follow-up calls that sit on our calendar and we keep putting off on our To-Do lists?
As an entrepreneur, business start-up or small business owner, being able to have complete truthfulness and self-awareness in our abilities, values, and behavioral
patterns is absolutely critical in planning, launching and growing a successful business. It’s of central importance in ensuring our professional development, career mobility, and interpersonal business relationships.
Lying To Ourselves – It’s Called Cognitive Dissonance.
This is such a prevalent aspect of our human nature that there is a huge body of psychological research and field of study called cognitive dissonance.
Social psychologists studying cognitive dissonance are interested in the way we deal with two thoughts that contradict each other – and how we deal with this contradiction. So if we think things about ourselves we don’t like or contradict our self-perception, we must reconcile the difference and that’s called Cognitive Dissonance. Don’t believe me? Read this awesome article on why we lie to ourselves.
The lies we tell others come back to haunt us. Often, as start-ups, entrepreneurs, or small business owners our word and how we act, treat others has a direct immediate impact on our personal and professional brand. The lies we tell add up and do much to destroy our reputational brand.
What do you think. don’t tell me you LOVE this…unless you mean it.
Ethan Chazin, The Compassionate Coach